This is from Helsinki, not Madrid. But I figured I'd use it somewhere. It looks cool, don't it?I'm back in Europe. I'm still short, and last I checked still a man. So I figured I'd dust off the 'ol blog, at least to jumpstart my writing, and make fun of myself where no one will read it.
I'm here to hang out with Ben, enjoy a new place, get away from responsibility, blah blah blah. What I'm really here for? To screw up while taking showers.
First I was at Ben's place, where he walked me through a challenging 4 step process to turn on the heat that would provide hot water. In 4 days, I showered twice, neither time with complete success. The results were good, but the process was not flawless - the first time I struggled to light the burner, requiring Ben's roommate's assistance. The second time I struggled with cold water for a few minutes before I remembered that once I lit the burner, I had to crank the knob to the left for full heat.
Of course, that pales in comparison to my foolishness today. Mind you, I'm terrible at figuring out showers anywhere - I once waited in the bathroom for 15 minutes or so while trying to turn on the shower in an on-campus apartment at Duke, only achieving hot water spoutage when my teammate who lived in the apartment returned later that day and demonstrated for me. "You're a funny dude, Shortman," he told me. So much for Massholes being smarter than Okies.
I expected trouble when I moved in to my new place yesterday. It's always awkward to shower and use the facilities when in a new place anyway. Throw in the certainty that I'd have trouble with the shower and my less than shaky grasp of Spanish, and the morning promised to be interesting.
When I awoke, I heard a shout of "Dani!" Fortunately, my landlady Patricia had warned me that when she yelled Dani or Daniel, it meant her son. "¡Es tardissimo!" she screamed. I understood that. Also, I decided that I wouldn't be getting in her way this morning, just in case.
The bathroom is large and convenient. I took care of all my morning issues, but when I got to the shower/bath, I was helpless. There was a round handle that I could turn left or right, but it offered no water. There were three pairs of buttons on the face of the shower, and I thought perhaps pushing or inverting them in appropriate fashion might solve the problem. After trying a few iterations I realized this couldn't be the way, because it would require a combination more detailed than the process needed to get into the basketball offices at Duke. So I decided to skip the shower.
Breakfast went fine, and I was reconciled to no showering for the immediate period. I put on some deodorant, dressed, and went to an "interview" for a teaching job. Afterwards, I was ready to go to the park and watch Ben play some tennis before returning in hopes of catching Patricia and getting the info out of her.
Then a turn in the story; she texted me to say her key to the house didn't work, and that she needed my keys so she could go copy them. (Though again, for all I know, she could have been telling me the weather was nice so she wouldn't be home till tomorrow). I changed course and returned home, where I didn't see her. I went back into my room, unshowered and away from the tennis match.
Patricia arrived moments later, though. She knocked on the door, I let her in, and then once I got a hold of her, I asked her how to use the shower. I had been practicing the line all day, so I said it with only about 3 errors, plus a bad accent. She smiled, went to the bathroom herself, and then let me in to show me that you had to not only turn the handle (which had hot and cold labeled backwards) but push up on it! Of course! I knew I'd regret my stupidity, but I smiled, said gracias, and then showered soon afterwards. A happy, fresh smelling ending.
And now, to my first "lesson", with mutton chops in tow. Hasta luego.
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